Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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