I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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