just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize