Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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