drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
is it fun? or sober?
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