After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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