I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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