Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
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Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
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Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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