I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize