no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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