I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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