Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize