I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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