wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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