Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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