the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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