I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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