Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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