I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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