Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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