thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize