i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize