I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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