Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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