Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize