i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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