the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
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My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Panties = found
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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