She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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