Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
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We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
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And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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