i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
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I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
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He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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