Yo dont text me then not text me
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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