Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize