If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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