yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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