She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize