I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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