guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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