Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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