Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i barfeds in our rink
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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