Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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