Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize