dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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