There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize