He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize