I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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