What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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