We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize