yo everyone went to the hospital last night
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
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If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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