I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize