I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she told me i tasted like america
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I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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